This episode I talk about a mindbody healing tool I made up called The Magnet Approach and an activity called The Drop Through. Again the goal is to help your brain and nervous system address your threat physiology detection system and working with your brain in creating change on purpose. Gentle neuroplasticity encourage us that how we attend is a part of the neuro-somatic rewiring process. Also I enjoyed the F out of a cold cold river.
This episode I talk about a mindbody healing tool The Magnet Approach and an activity called The Drop Through. Again the goal is to help your brain and nervous system address your threat physiology detection system and working with your brain in creating change on purpose. Gentle neuroplasticity encourage us that how we attend is a part of the neuro-somatic rewiring process. Also I enjoyed the F out of a cold cold river.
Here's some interesting articles about cold and how it's used to explore pain.
Temperature and the cold pressor test
Laura A Mitchell *, Raymond A.R MacDonald *, Eric E Brodie *
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1526590004007461
Molecular mechanisms of cold pain
Donald Iain MacDonald,⁎,1 John N. Wood, and Edward C. Emery
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7025288/
Oh look Sleep Affects Pain
Total Sleep Deprivation and Pain Perception during Cold Noxious Stimuli in Humans
Robert A. Larson, MS and Jason R. Carter, PhD
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5111796/
[00:00:00] Welcome to the curiosity cure podcast. I'm your host, Deb Malkin, master certified life coach, body worker, hypnotist trained in pain reprocessing by the pain psychology center, queer elder fat human on planet earth here to help you evoke the power of simple neuroplasticity techniques rooted in shame, free curiosity.
[00:00:29] So you can feel more better. More of the time in the body you have today and build the rich, full life that you want to live. A quick disclaimer. This podcast is not a replacement for medical care. I am here to provide insights and techniques that can compliment your healthcare journey, but always consult with your healthcare provider for personalized advice.
[00:00:56] Hello feelers and healers. So I've got news. I got on my bike yesterday and it was so awesome. Even though I had to watch a video that reminded me how to turn it on. Because of course, I like put the key in and then it wasn't turning on and I thought it was broken and then I watched a video and realized I had to turn the power button on.
[00:01:20] And even though the brakes were rubbing, um, I was able to go for a short ride and then I found another video. That will help me fix that problem. So I did it and I enjoyed it and I let it unfold, but I followed through and there's a part of my brain that's totally like, we know how to ride a bike. And this is fun.
[00:01:43] So there will be more bike riding report backs in the future. Thank you everyone who sent me a sweet note, cheering me on. So I know that I haven't released a podcast in a minute and I have some great interviews coming up and I want to make sure that I feel like what I'm sharing honors myself, my interviewee, and is helpful for you.
[00:02:06] My take on this is I'm calling this authenticity over consistency. on this podcast, because that is my gentle neuroplasticity way of releasing my inner critic while continuing to give you very real and applicable tips, stories, and experiences of mind, body healing. And I feel good about this because first off, I'm in this world, not as a vehicle for content creation, not because I'm getting paid by quote unquote, big self healing or mind, body medicine, right?
[00:02:40] But because these tools have transformed my life and my relationship to pain, to my body and my human experience and also to many of the people I have the privilege of working with. And this summer, I was reminded that my life matters to me and it is at the pinnacle of everything I do.
[00:03:00] As much as I love helping others, you don't really need more content. You need encouragement to apply what you know, and I see you doing it. So, yay you! I am so excited. Keep going. Don't stop. I get it in the voice messages, DMs, and emails that you send me, and I want you to know that I am so, so So, proud of you.
[00:03:31] And so this might sound weird, but I'm dedicating my summer of sun, ocean, and pools to you. As much as I am a guide, coach, teacher, the Lieutenant Uhuru of MindBodyMedicine, hypnotic trance for your highest benefit maker, I am also a person. So before this, I was a massage therapist and loved to study all the things.
[00:03:54] I wanted to help all the people. And there was a lot about my life that got conveniently scooted over in service to the wonderful feelings as well as the livelihood and true connections I got when I was working. And before that I had a plus size clothing store and before that I ran a plus size clothing rummage sale fundraiser and before that I did a bunch of free theater stuff and I mean we all do useful things to help others, but also these activities can be a distraction from sitting in the center of our own discomfort.
[00:04:31] Just as pain can be a distraction from stress, emotional pain, and that particularly uncomfortable feature of the brain called reflecting, ruminating on those truly owie moments in life, as if to make sure that you don't forget. Anything can be a distraction, especially workaholism and being a compulsive helper.
[00:04:54] And please don't get offended by the word compulsive, I don't mean it in a clinical sense, but it's that felt sense of feeling pulled toward something, like being drawn by a magnet. It's that feeling that we get when we're feel like if we don't do this, something bad will happen. I have to. And so this can be one of our brain's most favorite strategies because it can be loaded with all kinds of emotional and relational rewards. So where are you? Are you giving, giving, giving, but feeling upset that no one is noticing that you need care, attention, and help? So in recognition that nobody is going to create the life for me that I want, one in which I'm embodied, engaged, and connected with the world, I decided that this summer, those experiences would be prioritized.
[00:05:48] So this is me doing just that and finding amazing self healing discoveries along the way. I often share them on Instagram, so if you're not following me there, please do it now. I was amazed while getting into a cold river just how excited I was that my brain could feel the cold, but not the danger.
[00:06:10] In fact, it was really fun to be that cold. Other friends were scared and I get it, cold hurts, it feels like burning. If it's cold enough, it will burn you. In fact, cold is used as a way to test pain. The cold presser task, CPT, involves placing a hand or forearm in cold water, a stimulus that produces a slowly mounting pain of mild to moderate intensity and is terminated by voluntary withdrawal of the limb.
[00:06:43] The CPT has been used in many studies of pain, autonomic reactivity, and hormonal stress responses. One thing that happens with pain perception is how much danger or threat our nervous system anticipates. We want to be alerted to threats. If there's actual danger of hypothermia, we don't want to treat that water like a warm bath.
[00:07:07] I mean, I'm sure there's a study involving yogis who can regulate their bodies so that they can sit in water that would otherwise hurt normal people. And even that proves that we have so much control over the perception of threat in our physical experience. Our brains learn and update their predictions all the time.
[00:07:27] So if the first encounter with cold water is the scream, but then we move around and notice it doesn't stay the same level of cold or distress, the brain will clock that. If we add in cognitive elements like the, all the cold water therapy stuff, we can see how the willingness to do it can lead to a decreased threat response.
[00:07:47] And I was with friends having a good time and also I thought the burning was really fun and fascinating to get curious about because this is the side benefit of being a pain coach. Aversive experiences are fun. Also, uh, if you're kinky at all. You know, pain, not all pain, but some pain is really fun and we will go into, um, great measures to create that.
[00:08:15] So just saying, so kind of like people who love roller coasters or scary movies, not me, but give me some skin burning in cold water. And I am so excited and of course need to make multiple videos about it. So, the next few times I got in, I didn't really notice the cold. It didn't feel not cold, but it was almost like my brain had a new category of really cold, but feels good.
[00:08:42] And I like to feel good. So, what a wonderful expansion to my feeling good library. I remember I did the same thing when I moved back to New York and I was afraid of the cold. I walked around on purpose with a light jacket in the cold and told my brain, this is what vitality feels like. This is what it feels like to be alive.
[00:09:06] And it is without challenge, a little activation, a little bit of thrills life is kind of flat, flat is hard, flat. We wonder where our joy went. So remember, when you're working so hard not to feel something aversive, you're also blocking joy and pleasure. There's more to get into about that, but in this moment, I want to encourage you to explore going in.
[00:09:32] So this is what I call magnet theory. So what would it feel like when you are noticing an unpleasant sensation or emotion, you pause, Notice if you're feeling repelled, like the sides of the magnet that are pushing themselves away from each other. Remember in kindergarten or elementary school, did you get to play with magnets?
[00:09:56] It's a pretty neat feeling to have these two objects being pushed away from each other by an unseen force, or being pulled towards each other also by an unseen force. So just remember what that feels like. Then imagine turning on curiosity after you have noticed is something being repelled or pulled towards each other.
[00:10:22] Turning on curiosity and getting to know the shape, color, size, texture, temperature, and all the features of whatever it was that you were trying to avoid. Again, we want to decrease the threat. And in getting curious, we can ask, what's scary in this? Most people avoid pain because they think it's going to last forever, that this is never going to change.
[00:10:46] And avoiding is what makes it never change, because that neural pathway pattern never gets updated. It never gets messed with in the useful way. It never gets snow globed, which is what I call it, because you know what it's like to turn a snow globe over so it never gets snow globed so that the brain can have its prediction error and update and we can tell the brain. Yes No, maybe about any perceived threat instead of working off of its first guess Because that first guess is based on a snapshot of a moment of the past in your life Sometimes it's a moment that's long been forgotten Or remembered and played over and over and enhanced and amplified so much that it's taken on a life of its own.
[00:11:35] Maybe even that moment isn't even yours. Maybe it's somebody in your family. Maybe it's somebody that you know. Maybe it's what we've learned through socialization. The beautiful thing about using the Magnet Theory, or maybe I should call it the Magnet Approach. I kind of like that better. The beautiful thing about using the Magnet Approach is that it's a direct line to your subconscious.
[00:11:59] Your body leans in to what feels safe or desired, and it moves away from what feels like danger or fear. It's not our job to argue with our subconscious, but instead to develop a loving communication and process for encouraging your ecosystem to better reflect the experiences you want to be having, i. e.
[00:12:21] sitting in this chair is safe. Cold rivers are fun. Having a romantic feeling is not dangerous. Riding my bike is possible. My body is strong. My brain is fascinating and not broken. Whatever we want, be sure that your nervous system slash subconscious self has an opinion. It's very much the opinions are like buttholes.
[00:12:50] I want to keep this, with a clean rating, but you know that saying. And all of the opinions are designed to protect you and keep you safe. And yet some faulty, some are very faulty. Just think of a fear. We might be afraid of spiders to the point in which just thinking about a spider sets off a threat response in the body.
[00:13:13] Flushing, sweating, brain fog, shaking, spinning, overwhelm, pain, and so on. But there's no spider, just the idea of one. And most spiders are not a threat. As an aside, today I was walking in my basement, and I was running into all kinds of spider webs, and I was strangely unbothered. And that was really fun. I wonder if that's because I was dealing with spiders while camping, and so I was just like, sure, there are spiders in here.
[00:13:45] I would so much rather them live in my basement than in my apartment, so, hey, okay, be cool. Sorry I messed up your web. And so watching how our magnets are oriented, pulling towards or pushing away, and the strength. Is it a small magnet? Is it a big industrial one? And the goal isn't to shame yourself or make yourself do anything.
[00:14:09] It's about getting curious and exploring what is it underneath this repelling feeling? Or even, what is it underneath this attracting feeling? What is it that my brain or body is perceiving? Here's an activity that you can do after getting curious. It's called the drop through, and I learned it from my teacher, Melissa Teers.
[00:14:34] It's a visualization or an activity that happens as a metaphor. So please don't go dropping, literally, through anything. But in your imagination and felt sense, please give this a try. What do you notice when you drop through that first feeling you got curious about that you were previously ignoring? So if you were ignoring a feeling of a hard ball in your chest, and you notice what color it is, and what shape it is, and maybe what the texture is, and what do the edges feel like?
[00:15:13] So whatever it is that is coming up for you, what do you notice? And now imagine dropping right through the center of that feeling and describe that in the same way. Notice the color, temperature, texture. Is there an image, a smell, or a sound? Just notice that and then okay, drop through the center of that.
[00:15:42] And then what do you notice? And keep repeating this. We're not going for a specific outcome, but oftentimes people speak of getting to a place that feels expansive and open. Some people describe it as peaceful or spiritual, but again, just notice that there is change. Notice if there are themes that arise.
[00:16:09] Notice what you feel in relationship to those themes, those images, those thoughts, those feelings, those sensations. You can even use the acronym FITS. Feelings, images, thoughts, or sensations. What do you notice? Just as I got with the cold water in the river, can you be fascinated? This drop through experience can be done in short bursts. bursts. That's a hard word to say. Remember to be gentle. So maybe that means making sure there's a time buffer to process anything you experience before you need to be doing something else.
[00:16:51] And pick one experience, not everything all at once. Remember how chaotic that movie was? Everything, everywhere, all at once. It is an amazing movie, but that is not for healing. There is no need for speed. Maybe bring in something pleasurable like petting an animal, or a cup of something warm and tasty, a scoop of your favorite ice cream, a song that makes you smile.
[00:17:19] Give yourself all the good stuff, my feelers and healers. I'm back to the beach tomorrow, excited for another infusion of this is the life I am so happy and lucky to be living. Cherishing these special moments with friends. My magnets are definitely feeling pulled towards this right now and I'm so proud of myself for doing the work to make that possible.
[00:17:46] I want this for you. I hope you enjoy this drop through activity and exploring the magnet approach. Let me know. Send me a DM. shoot me a message, follow me on Instagram, and let me know what your experiences are like. And always, if you are curious and want to work with me, please reach out and book a curiosity call.
[00:18:10] And let's talk about what that looks like. Thanks so much.