It's been NYC Marathon time and if you're online or even in NYC you can't miss vast amount of marathon related content. I love the marathon even though I have no real ambition to do one. First because it's a super fun collective experience and I think with the current political landscape there's something that's so essential about coming together in public to do something together in celebration that feels very precious. And because the marathon is chock full of mindbody mastery types of moments that aren't just about pushing through or winning but are much more nuanced and powerful. In this episode I cite a short interview with Pauline Larkin, a runner living in Brooklyn who shared her experiences going through chemo and running the marathon. I hope you are able to take some of her pearls of mindbody wisdom that I'm so happy to share. I also link to two of my favorite running content makers, Martinus Evans and Latoya Shauntay Snell. Enjoy! And get out and do the thing in the body you have today!
It's been NYC Marathon time and if you're online or even in NYC you can't miss vast amount of marathon related content. I love the marathon even though I have no real ambition to do one. First because it's a super fun collective experience and I think with the current political landscape there's something that's so essential about coming together in public to do something together in celebration that feels very precious.
And because the marathon is chock full of mindbody mastery types of moments that aren't just about pushing through or winning but are much more nuanced and powerful.
In this episode I cite a short interview with Pauline Larkin, a runner living in Brooklyn who shared her experiences going through chemo and running the marathon. I hope you are able to take some of her pearls of mindbody wisdom that I'm so happy to share. I also link to two of my favorite running content makers, Martinus Evans and Latoya Shauntay Snell.
Enjoy! And get out and do the thing in the body you have today!
The Instagram Interview with Pauline -
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQeVTSLjkc7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Also she's raising money for cancer research, please support her - https://www.instagram.com/pauline_larkin_brooklyn/
Latoya's IG - https://www.instagram.com/iamlshauntay
Martinus' IG - https://www.instagram.com/martinusevans/
TCCEP61
===
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Curiosity Cure podcast. I'm your host, Deb Malkin, master certified life coach, body worker hypnotist, trained in pain reprocessing by the pain psychology center, queer elder. Fat human on planet Earth. Here to help you evoke the power of simple neuroplasticity techniques rooted in shame free curiosity, so you can feel more, better, more of the time in the body you have today, and build the rich full life that you want to live.
[00:00:39] A quick disclaimer, this podcast is not a replacement for medical care. I am here to provide insights and techniques that can compliment your healthcare journey. But always consult with your healthcare provider for personalized advice.
[00:00:56] Speaker: Hello, my feelers and healers. It's Deb with a Curiosity Cure podcast and I am so happy that you're here with me. Today I don't know what I'm gonna talk about. Maybe I am talking about my obsession with the New York City Marathon knowing that I am not a runner and I. We'll probably never run a marathon and probably we'll never walk a marathon, or enter a marathon.
[00:01:28] I have no marathon ambitions, but here is what I love about the marathon. It is a collective embodied experience. And there are times where I have done activities that are like a marathon. I did a Avon breast cancer three-day walk. I did that twice. I did a Kilimanjaro climb with 20 plus size women, and that was also a collective embodied activity.
[00:02:01] I like doing those retreats with Amber. If you listen to my podcast with Amber Karnes and we talked about empowered embodiment. So I like to be in spaces where people move together and I'm always, there's tension for me because I am, not always a joiner and I like to be at home.
[00:02:26] I do a lot of movement at home. I do a lot of things that are solo and also I yearn to be with other people. But not every movement space feels comfortable for me. So I say all of this and I have those desires and also there's tension and complexity for me. But the thing that I will say about the New York City Marathon, this year, I watched the marathon in the morning when it started and years previously have gone to the park at the end to watch, the back of the pack folks. But what do they call it?
[00:03:03] The final finishers, that is what it's called. So there's now an entire experience around supporting and loving on the final finishers of the marathon. And these are the people who are coming in late at night. it's the finish line after dark. That's also what they call it. And what I'm really loving is that they're creating this special experience so that the final finishers are getting to be celebrated for this exciting and ambitious feat of running a marathon. Everybody's got their own challenge, their own stretch, whether it's emotionally or physically, whatever it is. What I love about this is that there's an entire ethos of celebration. And now I know it used to not be this way.
[00:03:59] I think people had to fight really hard for the finish line to still be up, for people to still be caring about the people who are in the back. There's probably somebody who can tell the story of this. I follow some cool running influencers, Martinus Evans and Latoya Shauntay Snell . So she's run marathons, she's run ultra marathons? She lifts weights and she's. A very cool person.
[00:04:31] I've never gotten to meet her yet in real life. And then also Martinus Evans who runs the Slow AF Run Club and, and coaches people on running. This is a place where people can get validated for the work that they're doing. Before the marathon and after the marathon, you see a lot of marathon content on the internet, and what I love about marathon content and why I am sharing it here is there's a lot of overlap between marathon content and mind body work. And it's not about finishing. It's not about running a certain distance at a certain pace. So I was listening to, a video interview with this woman, Pauline Larkin, and she is a runner from Brooklyn and she is currently in cancer treatment. I loved this interview. So some of the things that really stood out for me, that translate between these two fields is the mind body techniques. Now she might not call them those, but these are the mind body techniques that we use in pain reprocessing.
[00:05:42] Visualization is one of them. And I'll link to the interview and you can listen to it. But she says she's constantly visualizing what it's going to be like to go over the finish line. So one, she's training her brain that she will be going over the finish line and she's just visualizing and repeating that and repeating that experience over and over for her brain.
[00:06:08] They talk about being active as a big part of her cancer treatment, and she talks about that chemo caused such bad bone pain. She felt like she had little gremlins jumping all over her bones. She would just talk to them and say, okay, I'm gonna take you out for a run. That was the start of working with the chemo and the cancer as opposed to working against it.
[00:06:36] So I'm gonna say that again. She talked to her pain and she said, I'm going to bring you along with the activity that we're going to do. She took the approach of working with her body and not against it. The last part that I loved in this interview, the interviewer asked if there was a quote or a motto that she lives by is run the mile that you're in with the body that you have.
[00:07:06] There's such beautiful acceptance in that. It's not wait until you feel better and then run a mile or lose a bunch of weight and then run or get a different body and then do an activity. No, it is run the mile that you're in with the body that you have, and so to translate that into somebody else's life, it might be walk the walk that you're in with the body that you have. Walk up and down the stairs with the body that you have, get onto the floor and get up from the floor with the body that you have. It's about how to approach an activity. And there's such clarity in that motto because the body that you have for runners, they are used to, especially for people who are running a marathon, they're very used to their body being variable throughout that whole 26.2 miles. They're gonna have moments where they're feeling some pain and distress. They're going to have moments when they're feeling really great that they're not expecting to have the same experience the entire time.
[00:08:26] There's a lot of overlap for me in looking at the marathon and also just the audacious of having a goal and pursuing something. I was watching a video and sent it to a friend and it was " friends, don't let friends goal alone" . that was a very cool quote.
[00:08:48] 'cause it's not Friends, don't let friends go alone. It is friends don't let friends goal alone GOAL. And there's something powerful about inviting people into the experience that you're having. So whether that's inviting them into taking a walk with you, I've been doing this around my book, inviting people into the goal of writing and creating this book, and doing it in a way that's causing me to come to my edges of feeling.
[00:09:29] Feeling shame, feeling overwhelmed, feeling confused, feeling not clear, feeling excited, like having the full range of human emotional experiences and inviting people in to be my witness, be my collaborators, be my partners in this, and also offering that to other people. Offering that to other people in their own journeys, in their own creative projects. And it's making, helping me feel so much more connected. I with what is essentially a, a kind of solo activity.
[00:10:05] There's kind of an invitation in this conversation that I am issuing to you, which is to look at how can you step out of your experience and take some of these ideas that Pauline was sharing, and apply them to your life. So looking at visualizing what it's like to do the activity that you wanna be doing, working with the discomfort that you're feeling and inviting that experience into your life, not using it as a stop, and then also coming up with a way of approaching.
[00:10:51] Whatever it is that you're doing with this quality of radical acceptance of running the mile that you're in with the body that you have.
[00:11:01] I'm getting ready for surgery and I am definitely nervous and there's this quality of acceptance that I am really stepping into. Not even working on embracing 'cause.
[00:11:16] It's kind of hard to work on something around acceptance. Acceptance is like the opposite of work, it's this letting go. So as I am approaching having surgery, I am letting go and stepping into this unknown. There is a little bit of fear that comes with that. And then I just am meeting that fear.
[00:11:41] A skill that I like to do besides doing somatic tracking with my sensations. So if I'm feeling anxious, doing some somatic tracking or leaning into positive sensations, right? So any of these mind body tools can be used for difficult emotions. One of the things that I'm doing.
[00:12:01] As well as an activity called the drop through. And the drop through, which I'm pretty sure I've spoken about on this podcast before, is just, it's a metaphorical visualization of dropping through any particular emotion. So if I'm feeling nervous about surgery, what I, the first thing I'm doing is conjuring the image, whatever the first image is that comes to my mind. So that could be, it's almost like a, you know, a medical procedural show. So I'm imagining being wheeled into an operating room. I don't even know if I wheeled, be wheeled into an operating room or not, because the only other time I had surgery, I walked into the operating room.
[00:12:50] So let's assume it's like a TV show. I'm being wheeled into an operating room, so I'm imagining that feeling and then dropping through the center of it, as if the center of it, as if it was a pool or something permeable. And then what's underneath that, and then what's underneath that, and then what's underneath that.
[00:13:15] So it's never about trying to force a feeling away or force an image away, but in fact just kind of sinking into it and imagining dropping through the center of it as if it were a barrier that you could fall into and you would come out the other side. Then when you're on the other side, what's there?
[00:13:42] It's a very creative, imaginative exercise. It's not about being literal, but it's about being with whatever arises. So as I'm imagining dropping through the center of being wheeled into the operating room. Now all of a sudden, the thing that I'm feeling is being in the bottom of a pit that I didn't know that was gonna be there.
[00:14:07] So now I'm imagining dropping through the bottom of a pit and I am floating in a body of water. I'm imagining dropping through the center of floating in a body of water. And I'm feeling the warmth of the sun. There's almost no image there. There's just a feeling that I'm having, and as I imagine dropping through the center of that feeling of dropping through the center of feeling the warmth of the sun, I'm now floating on a cloud, as I imagine dropping through the feeling of floating on a cloud. I feel dispersed through the atmosphere and very kind of one with everything. And that's just that one journey. What I like about this activity is that it presupposes that there is another feeling that you can access underneath the feeling that often is the one that we're like, Ooh, I don't like that feeling.
[00:15:15] This is a creative and non-directive way to access another kind of feeling. Mine often end up with some kind of floaty quality to it. Whether I'm floating in water or floating on a cloud, like I don't know, that's just where my brain likes to go. I think it just really enjoys that feeling, that experience.
[00:15:40] I'm being suspended of being held, being held by some unseen force like gravity. Or water, water's not unseen, but the properties of buoyancy feels almost spiritual. And some people might have spiritual experiences, might have experiences that help you feel connected to God or connected to source.
[00:16:10] Or maybe you're just like, oh, I'm really, really practical, and you can just cycle through a bunch of different experiences. There's no wrong answer, but it can be a playful way of engaging. And what it does is it will snap me out of an experience that I'm in resistance with. As soon as I am moved beyond resistance, I get to see everything else that's there. So I have a feeling I'm gonna be playing this game on my way into surgery. Maybe another activity I'll do is shifting into peripheral vision and expanding my vision.
[00:16:55] So if I'm noticing that my na, my vision is narrowing because I am having a fear of response, well the opposite to signal to my brain and my body that I'm safe is to expand my vision. Some people who do nervous system work or somatic experiencing might talk about orienting really noticing the space that is around you.
[00:17:23] So we're using our attention system on purpose to bring us out of the story and into this moment. So I've been noticing that, um, I'm definitely in a more liminal space. Because of this upcoming surgery, like I haven't scheduled a lot of things for after surgery, so I'm not really even thinking about the future all that much because I am just really curious about how I'm gonna feel.
[00:18:01] Maybe I'll feel great in a day. Maybe it'll take me a week. So I'm really trying to hold like a very open frame, open, loose, post-surgical frame so that I've not created, extra suffering for myself to be, because I've been like, oh no, I've expected that I'm going to feel better in this amount of time.
[00:18:23] So just letting that unfold and giving it some space. But what that means right now is. Oh yeah. I'm not really thinking about the future in the way that I have been before. Especially coming up to surgery. I've been very like, oh, I wanna be, you know, I wanna see these people or do these activities and I'm trying to get it all in before surgery.
[00:18:49] And so time had a really interesting quality to it. And now that I am days away. Time is shifting and my experience of time is really different. When we're not fearful, we can lean into the curiosity of how we're experiencing something and then letting it be invitation to getting to know ourselves even better.
[00:19:16] So I have good friends who are checking in on me, and my one dear friend was trying to offer me suggestions on how to distract myself. And I was like, i'm not anxious about being anxious, and I don't know that I need distraction. I mean, I'm not fixated.
[00:19:36] And sure, I always love something to do that's not just thinking about having surgery, but I don't need to be distracted. That was just a really interesting thing to notice because I don't think that was my original orientation, but in doing this MINDBODY work, I think that's been something that has evolved this quality of curiosity about my own embodied experience and the invitation to be learning and loving myself more deeply. How to attune and tend to myself with an even greater sense of connection, appreciation , kindness, humor, and joyfulness. I made a video about watching the marathon and there was a quality of like, I woke up today.
[00:20:36] You woke up today. And not with a sense of pressure, like, oh my God, what are you gonna get done? But like in and of itself, that is a miracle. Like I woke up and I'm just trying to sit with that privilege. There's also something about going through all of the photos from my book. There are a lot of people who are not with us anymore. Also we're coming up towards the anniversary of my father's passing. So that kind of finality of life experience is very present for me. So the contrast to that is the absolute incredibleness of being alive.
[00:21:23] Even though the world is complicated, even though it's full of things that I wish weren't happening to be alive is pretty unbelievable. So very grateful for this work giving me. Both a foundation of curiosity and also a whole host of skills, a way of attending and attuning, and the skills of curious embodiment that I'm so grateful for and that, you know, I have the privilege of sharing with people.
[00:22:05] Especially for the people who listen to this podcast. So thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for sharing it with people. Thank you so much for letting me know that what I do matters and how it's helped you. That's the greatest gift. That's my mission, is always to feel like I am offering you something that helps.
[00:22:29] That was the mission when I had my store, and that was the mission that I had when I had my massage practice, and that is the mission that I have with my MINDBODY coaching practice and this podcast. So I don't know when I will make my next podcast. That sounds very dramatic. I didn't mean for it to sound that dramatic, even though I don't know if you've met me. I am a little dramatic, but I just mean it to say like I'm just letting it unfold, so I'm sure at some point I will come back. I will tell you I'm fine. You can always follow me on Instagram and I'm sure I'll be posting on there. And I'll get to tell you what the experience was of having surgery and recovering and I am walking into the mindset and visualizing a very mundane surgery.
[00:23:28] That's really what I've been saying to people is like, yes, I'm nervous, but also my expectation is that this is going to be very boring and mundane. That it's going to be a very average unremarkable experience, and that's what I'm visualizing the absolute nothing burger of this surgery and recovery.
[00:23:53] And it's a, it's the absence of over planning or, or coming up with, you know. All the possible scenarios. I'm in good hands. I trust my doctor and my surgeon. Um, I have a lot of skillful people out there. And you know, my job is just to be the patient, so I'm gonna follow the rules of what they're recommending and I'm just going to get some good sleep and I'm gonna show up.
[00:24:29] And we're just gonna see what happens. And then I'll come back and I'll tell you all about it. Please go listen to Pauline's interview and find out for you, like where might her words resonate with you? How would you like to take them into your life? You don't need to be running a marathon. You don't need to be having surgery.
[00:24:58] You don't need to be going through chemo. We all have a body. We all have challenges. We all have ways in which we are having experiences that we would rather not be having, and we're also having experiences that we're choosing. So giving ourselves a greater sense of agency self connection and curiosity makes a difference.
[00:25:25] It absolutely does. Thank you so much for listening. I'll talk to you soon.