Hello my feelers + healers, I have missed you dearly and I apologize for not announcing what's become apparent, this season has concluded and this podcast will be on hiatus until my book memoir project is completed. Which doesn't mean that there won't be snippets of things posted here or on my IG. Because you can trust, that if I have something I want/need to say, I'll say it. In the meantime, I highly recommend two things - relistening to old podcast episodes for reminders, refreshes and reinforcement of learning the principles of mindbody symptom recovery. And follow my book antics at https://www.instagram.com/remembering_redressnyc There's going to be a short form podcast series happening with our kickstarter launch and you can get a lot of the behind the scenes and real life memory in action in conversation about body liberation, positive embodiment and the power of community. It was a formative experience in my life which informs everything that I continue to create in this world. I'm so proud of it (which wow, that's a new thing that I can now say due to this deshamifying process). And make sure you're following my Curiosity Cure Instagram because there will be a season 3 and you won't want to miss out!
Hello my feelers + healers, I have missed you dearly and I apologize for not announcing what's become apparent, this season has concluded and this podcast will be on hiatus until my book memoir project is completed. Which doesn't mean that there won't be snippets of things posted here or on my IG. Because you can trust, that if I have something I want/need to say, I'll say it.
In the meantime, I highly recommend two things - relistening to old podcast episodes for reminders, refreshes and reinforcement of learning the principles of mindbody symptom recovery. And follow my book antics at https://www.instagram.com/remembering_redressnyc
There's going to be a short form podcast series happening with our kickstarter launch and you can get a lot of the behind the scenes and real life memory in action in conversation about body liberation, positive embodiment and the power of community. It was a formative experience in my life which informs everything that I continue to create in this world. I'm so proud of it (which wow, that's a new thing that I can now say due to this deshamifying process).
And make sure you're following my Curiosity Cure Instagram because there will be a season 3 and you won't want to miss out!
TCCEP 64
[00:00:00] Deb: Welcome to the Curiosity Cure Podcast. I'm your host, Deb Malkin, master certified life coach, body worker, hypnotist, trained in pain reprocessing by the Pain Psychology Center, queer elder, fat human on planet Earth, here to help you evoke the power of simple neuroplasticity techniques rooted in shame-free curiosity, so you can feel more better more of the time in the body you have today and build the rich, full life that you want to live.
[00:00:39] A quick disclaimer, this podcast is not a replacement for medical care. I am here to provide insights and techniques that can complement your healthcare journey, but always consult with your healthcare provider for personalized advice.
[00:00:56] Hello, my feelers and healers. It is Deb from the Curiosity Cure Podcast. And I know that it has been a really long time since you've heard me create something here. I'm coming on to tell you that it's gonna be a little longer for me to be coming back. So I am officially on hiatus, and I guess have been.
[00:01:23] I just... It was an unannounced hiatus. But I am deep, deep, deep in the process of book making, and memory reconsolidation, and healing, and an inner journey that has been pretty incredible, and tapping into some creativity. I'm working on a book about a clothing store that I used to own called Re/Dress NYC, and it was a plus-size vintage and resale clothing store that I opened in 2008 and closed in 2011.
[00:01:56] And it was this incredible, beautiful, dynamic, chaotic, and creative hub for community and plus-size fashion and queer fat merriment and joy and mutual aid and all kinds of things that happened there, some of which I organized and some of which were organized and created by community and by my shop grrls and by people coming together and being like, "Hey, I have this need," and I had a space.
[00:02:29] So I am creating a book to tell the story of that time and to tell the story of what preceded it, an event called the Fat Girl Flea Market, and other events that I co-created that centered the beauty of fat community. The point of this book, besides telling the story, because if we don't tell our stories, they fade into the obscurity of memory.
[00:02:56] If we don't tell our stories, maybe somebody else tells our story in a way that isn't exactly what we wanna say. So I was like, "Let me go and see what I got," and I have an incredible treasure trove of photos and memories and things that I had forgotten and then remembered. And it's been an incredible journey that I think only could be possible now for me to do because I have these mind body skills and understandings.
[00:03:31] There's been a lot of... Parts of this journey have been me going back through time in some of the hardest moments of my life, and that isn't done lightly. But to be able to do it with open eyes and an open heart and the ability to navigate my emotional landscape, my- ability and understanding to walk alongside myself and ask for help and tend to my nervous system and honor this self that I am, this body and mind and personage, and travel through time and visit some of the most important and creative and intense experiences of my life, which I only barely had the ability to know what was happening when it was happening, 'cause it was such a wild ride.
[00:04:27] Oh my God, I don't know if you've ever run a business, uh, and were like, "Oh, I'm in over my head before I even start." If you've ever done a project like that, you kinda know what that feels like. And so the ability to have the skills that I didn't have then, and to be able to see the decisions that I made and understand why I made them, and have a lot of love and care and respect for that me, who really did the best that they could.
[00:04:57] And being able to go into this project saying, "Hey, but what I wanna do with this project is not have it recreate those old patterns." So really stepping into the nowness of myself while I'm looking back and reflecting on the past. So there's two parts of this process. There's the output that is going to be the book, and the book itself is, you know, primarily a celebration, and it's going to have these incredible photos and memories, and some of them are tender and some of them are just wild.
[00:05:34] And then there's the inner journey and my internal process that's happening, which is not something that's gonna be necessarily shared in the book itself. I might eventually figure out how to share that on this podcast, because I do think that this is very much related to mind-body healing. So we'll see how that all filters through.
[00:05:57] But one thing I've discovered about myself is that I'm really project monogamous in a lot of ways. I may not be monogamous in other ways, but I'm project monogamous. And what preceded this project was finishing the chapter on weight stigma and neuroplastic symptoms for the ATNS book. And so that got done. That was tremendous, and it felt like I had a lot of momentum for creativity and digging into the next thing. And the next thing has been to really do this book, and boy, it's been... You know, there's the idea of a thing, and then there's the thing of a thing, and ideas are always easier than actually doing the thing.
[00:06:43] So I think there's been these different stages that I've been able to witness- In terms of navigating the difficulty of breaking down this book into a creative process. I've gotten through a number of stages and a number of iterative processes for connecting with people and getting images, and it's really requiring me to make contact with a lot of people who I haven't talked to in a really long time.
[00:07:12] And that, in and of itself, can feel both wonderful and elating and amazing when somebody reaches back out across to you, and can sometimes feel really deflating and scary and whatever when that reaching back out isn't coming. So it's really given me this incredible opportunity to meet these parts of myself that are old and are my wounds, the part that feels like I'm alone or the part that feels like waiting to be rejected.
[00:07:45] So that's what's been going on in this project and then it gets easier. And that's part of that neuroplastic process is the more you do something, the easier it gets, like asking for help, reaching out, even understanding and witnessing, "Hey, you know what? In this moment, I need a break. There's a little bit of too-muchness happening." So there's been an interesting process of self-witnessing my internal experience and also tending to myself and also taking action. So it's been a very robust process, and I'm in a place where things are coalescing. I'm starting to feel the payout happening.
[00:08:30] And I'm sure the rest of the process will be equally a wild ride. Like, I am here for it. So some of that requires me to step back from this podcast. I have a feeling creatively it's gonna filter through and help me make this podcast even better. So what I'm announcing is actually the end of season two, and then dot, dot, dot, cliffhanger, there will become a season three.
[00:09:00] And the season three of this podcast will be me with a renewed and refreshed sense of focus on the important conversations that I wanna have about neuroplastic symptoms. Again, bringing in amazing conversations with both colleagues and experts and also clients and my own reflections, and always keeping the intersectionality piece at the forefront and helping you strengthen your inner resources and connect the dots and understand how healing happens and what the steps are that you can take to feel better now in your today body. I apologize that I'm so late with keeping you up to date, but I've been the snowball rolling down the hill doing my project.
[00:09:53] And I was like, "Okay, but I gotta come back and talk to you, and also tell you that I miss you, and that you'll be hearing again from me." And sometimes the very best thing that you can do around healing is come back and listen to some of those older episodes. Come back and start applying practices to yourself, and build a foundation of trust.
[00:10:19] Lower that sense of threat and fear, and start creating experiments for yourself where you can really start to train your brain into a sense of safety. And I feel like that's what I've been doing around vulnerability and emotions and that kind of threat of emotional pain as I am working through this book.
[00:10:43] This is a part of my own healing process, and it's working. That's the thing. It's working. I can look back at that time in my life and not, one, wanna burst into tears, or two, ignore it, but three, the richness of that time is now reblooming in my imagination. I'm reconnecting with more whole parts of what was happening then, not just the most painful highlights.
[00:11:13] Those are still there, but everything else has been fleshing itself out, and now my memory is so much more 360 view. It's not just painful highlights. And I think that is such an important process. Just like when I'm asking my clients, like, " What's everything that's not this?" When we're talking about expanding our view of our day, and of our life, and of our sensory input beyond just the thing that we don't wanna be feeling.
[00:11:47] It's the same process. So I'm very grateful to me for understanding this so I can go and take good care of myself as I'm creating and doing this project. And also, not just doing this project to get it done, but to do this project with the intention of my own healing, because that's one of my goals, as well as creating a book that I am so excited to birth into the world, and that people are gonna be excited to hold, and see, and buy, and share.
[00:12:22] I think that this story is particularly relevant in this era. I guess the end of body positivity and the beginning of the Ozempic era. I don't know. I don't wanna label any of these things. I think that there's a lot of people out there- who are really fed up with the policing and controlling of people's bodies.
[00:12:43] So I am hoping that this touchstone of joy and rebelliousness will be like, yes, it was a thing that happened in the past, but can it give us a sense of something creative for the future? So that's all I got for you right now. Please come follow me to be updated on book stuff. I've got a Instagram called Remembering Re/Dress, and I'll link to that in the show notes.
[00:13:10] All the book stuff happens there, and there will be more and more and more that I am excited to share. And every once in a while, I post some reels on my Instagram here, 'cause I have a moment that feels really important to share. And of course, I always share cool colleague stuff. Dr. Schubiner has a new book coming out, and that's gonna be amazing.
[00:13:30] So I still have my toe in the water, in that field, my ear to the ground, my connections, and there's so much good stuff happening in that world that I am excited to share, and that sharing often happens on my Instagram. And then as far as working with clients, I will let people know when I am back running full speed in working with people on mind-body healing.
[00:13:58] So that is all. I'm wishing you all well, and I'll see you later. Bye.